Who wants to be a model for a painting, yeah?

SASORI-DANNA~- I know you want to, yeah! it can be a nude painting~

Good morning, my dear~

Name: Deidara
Age: 19
Position: Waiter
What have you been doing while the store has been closed?
Working with the Japanese CIA developing a new war bomb. 






I FUCKING WISH, UN. Seriously, yeah? Do we have to tell, like, the truth here? ...Yeah? Fuck you, un. 

(Attempt #2) What have you been doing while the store has been closed?
Fixed my kitchen, yeah, since it had been EXPLODED by SOMEONE. Sorted my stuffed animals by name, then species, then name, then colour, then- I dunno if I like it by colour, though. What should I sort them by, then? Age? But that's so stuffy. Cuteness? But I just can't pick one!!!! How could I make Theodore #1 when I just got Miss Lady???? And if I pick one, everyone else will be jealous and then all this drama will start. Haley will begin to scratch people again and Jo will get angry at Ellen who'll start picking on Miss Lady (poor Miss Lady! She's only been here a few days!) and then Miss Lady will hate her life so much she rip all her stuffing out! DON'T DO IT MISS LADY!

asklj





She's fine, don't worry. I stopped her before it could get serious. 

So where was I, un? Oh, yeah~ So, sorted my stuffed animals, went shopping, dragged Itachi out shopping..... OH! I worked at Shu Uemura! It was SO COOL. Everyone was so nice and the store was so elegantly decorated and there were so many cute girls that would just come in and be like: 'Oh, what should I get?' and I'd be like: 'Don't worry, hun, we have the perfect thing for you' It was almost like working at the Cafe, but better dressed~ Un....

Ahhhh. Do we have to go back to work?

Leader-samaaaa, I'm going to be away all next week on a trip to China to visit my aunt, yeah. I know you guys will miss me, but don't let that keep you from having fun while I'm gone. 

Itachi-pii, I know you'll miss me the most, un.

P.S. Tobi, don't you fucking dare go into my apartment. It's in prime condition (and has taken me months to get it that way!)

OOC: I'm actually going to be away until next Thrusday, so Deidara will be inactive until then!

 GUYS. It's the end of January! Which can only mean one thing: it's almost February! Which can only mean one thing, yeah: VALENTINE'S DAY.

Let's decorate the cafe again, un! I went shopping yesterday and found the most perfect tablecloths! They're white with these cute lace frills and pink hearts and Cupids! They are the SO CUTE, un. We HAVE TO USE THEM. And they also had matching plates and cups and I CAN'T WAIT.

TOBI.


MY APARTMENT IS CLEAN.


WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!

Five minutes Itachi, yeah. Don't be late!!!

JUST HAVE SEX


ALREADY.

I am completely serious, yeah. Hidan, Itachi: I want you two to go to Pein's office, or meet at ASS or in the street or in the church or where ever you fuck and I want you to RELIEVE SOME STRESS because fuck, un, you could cut the sexual tension between you two with a knife.

God, un.

ITACHI.

IT WAS THOSE UGLY, BALD, FAT,

LEATHER- WEARING FUCKERS.

IT WAS THEM.

THEY STOLE JASHIN!!!

THEY STOLE OUR MASCOT!!!!

THEY STOLE HIM FROM RIGHT UNDER

YOUR NOSE!! i have no fucking clue how. how did they catch him?

But, yeah. I found the ransom note. They must've sent it to me by accident (what idiots, un). It's dated last Monday... Which is strange, 'cause I only found it today. I guess my floor kinda swallowed it up! It does that sometimes. Seriously, yeah. Things go missing for weeks and all of a sudden there it is, just lying on the floor! Cool, huh? Keeps me company, though, when Theodore and Mallory are having a stuffs-only party (the meanies). It wriggles!

So, un, WE SHOULD TOTALLY GO SAVE JASHIN, YEAH! I'll get the bombs~